Use your Voice

It seems like I can’t find the words to say , from this past weekend.

Here are the feelings I have. I will try to express , but it’s really early for me to express and speak about everything.

I am happy to have met my family. My mom’s side of the family are from the West Indies. The majority of my moms side of the family live in St. Maarten, Anguilla and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

My uncle, Uncle Kelvin passed away from Cancer November 23. And this weekend we had the funeral. 

At the funeral I read Psalm 32, as requested from my grandma and I can’t imagine how it would feel as a mother losing her child. Whether old, or young. The pain is still there.

I met my four dear and loving cousins, Uncle Kelvin ‘s children for the first, time. They are all very admirable and Strong. Each of his children have a story to tell. When I look at my cousins they all have a bright spirit to them. And they held it together very well. They are very strong and mature. So, I am so happy and admire that they have the strength to endure this time.

My father was really acting up though. He has a way of showing his emotions. I sometimes don’t understand him. Anger to agression to really not caring. It’s just out of place. I really don’t know what my father had to go through growing up, so I am not judging him, it’s just hard to endure his mood sometimes. Nontheless, he has helped my mom.

At the Repast, everyone had a chance to get up and speak about their memories of Uncle Kelvin.

I unfortunately didn’t have any memories. But, Something moved in me to share John 3:16 with the family. So, When I went up to the mike, I read John 3:16 and told my family that I am a born again Christian. I spoke some other words that I can’t remember. I know Holy spirit helped me speak though.


Having that moment to speak seemed to be the most unconciosly, impactful thing I have done. I really didn’t know how much of an impact that sharing my “testimony ” as everyone else viewed it was until after the funeral.

I just felt like going up there to share John 3:16 but God used me in a different way, to show the family that there is light.

After I spoke at the mike, I sat down and just continued on like normal. I went outside the room, to play with my baby cousins and talk. My two uncles came up to me, and encouraged me.

One of my uncles , Said This Is What He Has Been Praying For, he wants my family to know the lord.  And That Before He Dies He Wants To Witness To Our Family. The other told me whatever I do, do not give up, and since I started with this zeal to keep going in my family.

Blind sided, I didn’t really see that as a testimonial time, I just got up there and shared how Jesus changed me. God turned that sharing moment.

It started to become weird, I noticed how when We gathered back together again at grandma’s house, how everyone acted different towards me. Fooling around and saying Jesus jokes. When I would enter a room I got stares. When I speak to my family now, it’s completely different. God used me as a voice.

In fact, one of my uncles sons friends from the Virgin Islands, approached me afterward and asked me what church I go to? And if I have bible apps on my phone,  he seemed curious. I answered his questions,  but I was more in the mood of simply talking to my family and talking to him.

My family doesn’t know this. Neither does my mom. But, the day before my uncle died. God moved on me to start a prayer group for my uncle. I contacted an aunt, and tried to get her help, and then called my grandma for her approval to start the group. Thank God, she said yes! I tried getting a prayer group started, I formed a whatsapp group,  but it was too late. He passed the next day.

There are things I don’t understand,  but I know that God is our creator, he forms life and knows all. It’s about his Will for us. It’s important to stay close to the master, and his master plan for our life.

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10 Comments

  1. I am sorry to hear if the loss of your uncle, but how awesome that you had the opportunity to share your inner light. It must have been something special to meet many of your relatives too. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. πŸ’–

    Liked by 1 person

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